Monday 1 March 2010

Confidence boosting Mums & Me!

Being a Business Mum is interesting to say the least. One minute your cleaning mucky faces and making lunches the next you are speaking to a roomful of business women or sending out emails. The way women jump from one task to another is very impressive and is rarely appreciated. So when I note something that works or something that is not I like to share it here.

I have been working with a lot of women in one way or another to help them boost their confidence and appreciate all the fabulous skills they have. And yet it never ceases to amaze me how the brilliance I can see is often unappreciated by the woman sat before me.

I think a big problem for us Mums is that our confidence so easily gets knocked. I know some amazing business women who have had great careers and having taking time off to play babies now feel less confident about themselves. It so easily happens, and I think it is important to remember this dip in confidence is not something especially kept for Mums.

Its something that can hit anyone at anytime. A key problem can be that because we have been away from that environment or that task we choose to accept a different belief that we are somehow less capable than other people.

For instance we often assume that if we struggle to do something, like public speaking, or getting new clients for our business, or even getting our children to sleep through the night that everyone else is fabulous at it and we are the only ones that struggle.

On the other hand if we are good at something we assume that everyone is good at that! Thereby giving ourselves no appreciation for what we are good at.

A big mistake we often make is assuming that we can not get that confidence back, without a massive amount of effort, well the fact is that just isn't true.

If you are prepared to challenge that belief, that is the first step into taking back your confidence.

The unknown can create a lot of concern and uncertainty which can lead to a dip in confidence, so if that feels like it is happening to you, ask yourself what would I need to learn to feel confident again?

Also, be aware of a time when you were very confident, what skills did you put into action that you could use to build confidence in this area that you lack it?

And lastly I bet many of you are thinking, as a "Business & Life coach SHE doesn't get dips in confidence!" On the contrary!

I surprised my photographer last week, when I went to have new photos taken for my business. She was very shocked to learn how nervous I was. I did advise her that quite frankly I would rather have a check up at the dentist than have a photo shoot. She couldn't believe it. "How can a business woman with as much confidence as you be worried about this?" she said.

That's the thing about dips in confidence, it differs as much as the individual. The difference for me to a lot of women is that I always tackle dips in confidence - head on.

I still hate having my photo taken, but I do it, and I know that the more I expose myself to these experiences the less I will fear them and lack confidence in them. Although I doubt I will ever feel like strutting my stuff on a red carpet!

So a parting thought for you. If you feel a bit like this is just too big for me, I will just accept that that was me of the past I can not get that back. Ask yourself this. "Would you want your son or daughter to turn away and accept a life long dip in confidence? Or would you want them to have the mindset and the skills to be able to deal with it?"

Because if you do find your answers to build your confidence, you are being a fabulous role model for your children, and how great will it be that we can influence are children in such a proactive way every day of their lives to help them always tackle those dips in confidence?

I love to hear from people. What's working, what's not, and if I can be of any help in supporting your challenges and ambitions - it is always great to meet up for coffee and cake (of course!) to talk about how coaching could work for you.

P.S I will share my photo shoot piccys with you the moment they arrive!

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