Nothing can work wonders!

At a meeting last week I was sharing with someone one of my passions for 2010 that is to continually accept and seek out new challenges.

As a coach when you train, before you start helping others you help yourself. You learn to understand yourself in a way that many of us never take the time to. This enables you to work to your strengths, understand and deal with your weaknesses and always think in a way that is proactive to getting the personal and professional life you want.

The only "problem" is that what ever I am doing in life I take it on head first, No comfort zone creates a problem for me and thus the things in life that could be a challenge do not exist anymore.

Hence I am actively looking for new challenges. Things that I would never have thought of before.

A client I was working with told me of their trekking for charity that took them into the mountains of Nepal. "That sounds perfect!" I thought. Until I suggested it to my Hubby who pointed out that the trekking bit I would be fine with and easily get fit for, but the sleeping in a tent bit would be "interesting" for someone with a curve in their spine and arthritis. So that one is maybe not the most appropriate for me. But it does not need to be that big.

For instance anyone on Facebook will know that I hate structured exercise, because of my bodies intriguing way of growing I have to get regular exercise but for me it is not in a gym. For years I went religiously to the gym 3 times a week - I never felt the buzz, I never loved it, I never had that adrenaline rush that people talked about. The fact is the gym to me is boring full of sweaty bodies, in their own worlds ignoring that anyone else exists in their own pit of torture!

I know that to keep fit and exercise my exercise has to be congruent to me (That congruency thing again!) and for me that is walking on the beach, running with my kids, playing wii fit games with my son and cycling with the family.

So when my sister asked me to go to with her to a Legs, Bums and Tums class - I was beyond mortified.

In 36 year I have never done a exercise class, And I would be happy to spend the next 36 years the same way. As much as I love dancing I have the co-ordination of a lettuce.

If you jiggled some sausages in a Sainsbury's carrier bag it would be more co-ordinated than me!

But hey, You asked for challenges!

So I bought the gear and turned up to a roomful of women that looked like they had done this before. Okay so I did seem to be one step behind and had fits of hysterical laughter when they attempted to teach me the grape vine but I really enjoyed it!And I probably got far more exercise than anyone else there as I did 3 steps to their 1 trying to keep up!

I have discovered a new thing to add to my life. A shared moment with my sister just for us, a new way to exercise and its great.

So when it was suggested that I extend from doing nothing for 15 minutes a day to not working for a whole TWO DAYS. I gulped but said why not?

Google appreciate the importance if giving their staff the space to be creative and to tackle problems in a new way by spending 20% of the time doing non work related things - You can even take your dog to work apparently. and we all know how well Google are doing don't we?

So how could it impact on my working week? On my brain cells? On my productivity and creative thoughts?

The fact is I did it this weekend. I did not even turn the laptop on. So not even a glimmer of facebook or twitter. No blogging, no emails, no "I'll just finish this report" Nothing.

After I stopped sweating from the "But what ifs" I found that I had more time for me and my family.

It was like being on holiday. By Sunday morning I was having all these fantastic ideas. I reckon my subconscious must have been throwing a party up there thanking me for all the space it was getting to do its job.

And the impact on this week?

Well so far, I have accepted 2 new challenges that quite frankly I would have questioned I had time for. I have found the answer to something that has been frustrating me for days. And I feel calmer.

The fact is I am not a doctor saving peoples life's, I am not in the emergency services. I do not need to be contacted 24 hours a day. And although my clients appreciate that, maybe I needed to be reminded of that!

So take up the challenge -

Don't work for 2 days...Feels like a challenge? GOOD!

Life is about constantly seeking out new challenges and being prepared to try some what ifs. If you don't then how can new opportunities head your way?

New Year Resolution is No New idea!

A lot of people I have been meeting recently have been commenting on their weight. It seems as the daffodils start to shoot and you begin to notice that it's not dark at 20 to 5 in the afternoon our mind starts to notice those few additional pounds that magically appeared over the festive time and we are not talking about pounds in the bank!

I too have noticed the extra volumptousness about myself however I do not view it in a negative way. I loved my Christmas, the parties, the food, the company, the wine and maybe the odd Margarita and I know that getting back to work and as the weather improves I will be more inclined to go out and not hide under a duvet with the heating set to tropical.

My kids do not notice my change in appearance, my hubby loves me and rolls his eyes in a Simon Cowell fashion when I wobble in front of him - so I too set my mind to positive and know that I am gorgeous regardless. I know my positive mind set ensures that I concentrate on the successful outcome that I expect and I ignore the negative.

And yet so many people feel negatively about their bodies. This in turn leads them to feel negative. Which then starts to affect the way they feel day to day. What effect can that have on your personal and professional life. Are we saying that if you are over weight that you can not be successful?

Are we saying only thin people are a success?

The fact is plenty of stunning models and the worlds favourite actresses are plagued with unhappiness. Success is not just measured by how much money you have.

And yet for many it is. It's measured by the size of your waist band and the noughts in your bank account.

So listening to these people talk about their figures made me think about the pressure we put on ourselves this time of year to create goals and succeed at things that for some have been elusive for years.

Negativity feeds more negativity, so if you fill your mind with pounds in all the wrong places, your brain feeds of it - As much as your body does!

So give your mind a healthy dose of positivity today.

And be congruent with the person you are. Is it realistic to be thinking about getting fitter and leaner physically at the start of the year? Most people have just had at least 6 days off of work. Most in trays are as full as our waist bands. So concentrate on getting the in trays sorted first. When work feels the way you want THEN start to look at the other areas of your life you would like to improve.

The fact is a big reason we do not achieve our goals (apart from not being what we really want!) is that there is too much else going on in our lives right now. My clients quite often find that they deal with an area of their life that they have been ignoring and magically other areas of their life's improve too.

Rocket science it is not!

It is a case of prioritising. What is the most important thing I need to deal with today? When I shut my eyes and my head hits the pillow tonight what will give me the greatest sense of achievement? What can wait until another day? In ten years time will this be of any concern to me - Will I remember how I felt?

So I will leave you with this fact. 58% of people think they will be successful with their new year resolution however only 12% actually is!

So get in that 12%!

Know what you really want. What is congruent to the person you are (your beliefs and values) and be realistic about when and how you are going to achieve it.
And if a helping hand will get you there - find yours. Be it a trusted friend, partner, or coach. I have a client who twitters about everything she is doing. She said it ensures if she does something she will regret later, everyone in the world knows about it and will think she has the will power of a sausage!

I love it!

Game of Cards - Just like business?

Thanks to the snowy weather and a shut school, me and the children have had an extended Christmas holiday. Yes it is frustrating in one way because this week was packed with great new clients, meetings regarding some great projects I am going to be involved in and the preparations for next weeks Business Woman's Network Event.

So plans had to be changed and rearranged.

Because my kids get quality time with me, I was able to convince them that if I worked for an hour first thing I would then devote the rest of the day to them and snowy antics. And after the first 20 minutes of an interruption every three milli-seconds for everything from Sophie is sitting too near me, to whats the most deadliest thing in a rain forest? I was able to do a certain level of work, even coaching over the phone. (I love that about my job, that I can work anywhere anytime and my client can stay safely and warmly in their homes and still get closer to their goals and ambitions.)

So work done, out we went like intrepid explorers. After sledging on the beach, snow ball fights and snow man building and a general explore around Mersea Island I pulled the children to Nanna's house for a warming whisky and a game of cards. For anyone that hates formal exercise or gyms (like me!) pulling a 8 year old and a 6 year old on a sledge for 2 or 3 hours must be great exercise. I definitely have muscles that I did not know had not been exercised for a few months.

As we played cards and argued over whose Black Jack rules were correct, I looked around the table and really appreciated how lucky I am. To have children who want to know me and their grandparents. Parents too who enjoy my company and who I treat like my best friends.

I feel very lucky because I know how many people I coach who have relationship issues with family members and the impact that that can have on your personal and professional life.

This led me to thinking about how different we are within my own family. Although there are traits that are so connecting about us (not just the big nose I hasten to add!) We are so different in some ways. For instance me and my Dad have a bond that is very special and unique. From a very young age I can remember special moments with my Dad. From walking along Westward Ho beach and getting caught out by tide so we climbed the cliff face, to being out at sea in a small boat and seeing our first shark. (We did not wait around to discover that it was a harmless Basking shark!) to helping Dad rub down a wooden boat and joining Dad out on a recovery in the big red lorry with the flashing lights.


I can talk to Dad about anything and we get to do this on long walks along the beach or on days out at sea. If there is a job to be done on board. I know I am his first mate, because we share such a passion for the sea as my Grandad did and even my great grandad before, both of whom were in the merchant navy. However for all our similarities (such as my business acumen, passion for family and gift of the gab - apparently I could sell snow to an Eskimo!) as I played cards yesterday I appreciated how different we can be too.

Dad has to win at everything. Everything is a battle to be won, a challenge, an opportunity to prove himself the best. I am not very competitive at all with other people. I do demand the best from myself and I am hyper critical of everything I do, demanding to know what I can do to improve all the time, however I do not have this fire for 1st place.

Looking around the table I realised that my children do have this desire to win. And as I thought about this more. I appreciated that we were all playing the same game in so many different ways. I was playing to be with my family, to have fun, to laugh.
My Son & Dad were playing to annihilate their opponents and my daughter best of all when she laid an ace she could choose any suit to enable her to win the game. She chose hearts even though she had none! When asked why she had done that she said "because I like hearts" Obviously!

Business is very much like a game of cards. We all want the ultimate outcome to be successful. However what we class that as will vary from person to person. For some it may be an amount of money in the bank that defines success. For others it may be the knowledge that every house hold benefits from their product, it could be a Porsche parked on the drive or a swimming pool in the garden. Whatever it is, our definition of what a successful business looks like will vary, just as our attitude to a game of cards.

So if you can grasp this fact, then you can learn to appreciate that the path that you choose to take to success will differ too. It HAS to be congruent to you. It has to feel right. That gut instinct that gets you sometimes. Trust it, just because another person did it this way, it does not mean it will be right for you.

As with any area of life treat it like a game of cards. Know what the ultimate outcome is that you wish to see, and with every small step work towards it. When the cards don't look the way you want them to make up your own rules!

This life is for living. Enjoy it. Play the games you want to and get the results you want.

It can also help to look at the way you would choose to play a game of cards. Because this shows you what is important to you. As with me. The way I play cards is for fun, to connect with people, to enjoy my time, I do not need to win the game, just do my best. The same is true with my business. I have so much fun with my business, if fulfills me in so many ways. I get to connect with people and I enjoy it.

Some one once said to me Business is not supposed to be fun. She may have had a different idea of what fun looks like, because for me fun happens every day. Fun is something that makes me feel good and full of life. Fun makes me feel happy to be a live. Fun puts a smile on my face and warmth in my heart - My business is definitely fun!

What ever your life looks like, what ever you do to fill your days - I hope you too appreciate fun and playing the game of cards the way you want to.