Last week we took the children to see Hannah Montana the movie. There were many outcomes to this. Firstly pop songs that you end up humming as you shake hands with a client or during an important "Come on Mandie time to look like a grown up" meeting.
Secondly a (becoming worryingly desperate) desire to learn the rest of the hoe down throw down - well really how is it my 5 year old daughter can get it and I end up with too many feet and not enough legs when I get on to "the shuffle in diagonal, when the drum hits"......aaahhhh! See it takes over.
I am going off at a tangent here but have you noticed how annoyingly addictive some music is? To the point where a few times of hearing it you find you are actually tapping along to it. What is happening there? Is there some kind of subliminal message laid under the words saying something like "You love me, you love me, buy my merchandise, buy my merchandise, write to the producer and beg for more"? If there is this ability I wonder where else this is being employed? Behind Take That's happy music on the ad is there a "secret message?"Saying "this music is making you feel happy, spend more, spend more. You will feel happy if you spend more in our store" on a continual loop? and if so I wonder if I may get the necessary electronics and put my own secret words to music. Mmmmm I am starting to think big here...
Firstly I would have a secret message in Hannah Montanna and High School Musical especially for my daughter saying "I am really tired and I wish to brush my teeth instead of the bathroom wall with pink toothpaste, go to sleep instead of getting teddy to wear my nightie and stop trying to sniff my brothers feet while he sleeps"
And the second message would be in my hubby's C.D in the car saying "I want to buy my wife flowers, cook tea, wash the floors, tell my wife she is the most beautiful women in the world and actually have something interesting to say when my wonderful wife tells me about her day, oh and I never want to leave socks on the stairs again" Okay so I am really lucky, I do get the flowers and he is a whiz in the kitchen as long as I don't ask for salad, apparently salad is only a garnish you are not supposed to eat it - who knew?
So where was I - oh yes the outcome of seeing Hannah Montanna. During the film I got a very important phone call. My sister is my best friend (if you don't include my hubby) and she is expecting twins. I could explode with happiness about this for so many reasons. Firstly she is a fantastic fairy godmother to my children and would do anything for them. Secondly I know she will make a wonderful Mum and thirdly I GET TO BE AN AUNTIE!! How cool is that? For 8 and half years I have had to be the sensible one - well when I say sensible that kind of suggests a maturity and I am not sure that that will ever be the case. But I am the one that has to say "Come on no more death defying leaps onto your Auntie time for bed, you have school in the morning" and " No Granddad, I don't think it is a good idea to give our son milk & Orange, chocolate and cream cake and spin him round like - eugh! that's why!"
But this pregnancy has been just awful. There is no way of making it sound any different it just has. My sister for years has been describing the clothes that she would wear when she was pregnant, how her bump would be on display. Instead she has been very poorly and so have the twins, resulting in a life saving operation for them. Its hard to think about the kind of shorts you are going to wear with a tankini this summer to show off your bump when you have been through what she has recently. And because we are so incredibly close - we have been through every step with her.
We had booked our tickets to see Hannah weeks in advance and because the urgency of my sisters operation it worked out that as I sat down with two very excited children and a excited Hubby (he does like a hoe down throw down!) in the dark while my sister was finding out if the twins were still alive. Keep busy was my motto, so I ate popcorn with a mobile in my hand.
As the phone started I kind of flew out side and when I heard the news that there was still two heart beats and more importantly their little hearts were not damaged and miraculously they had gained weight. I don't think there are words that I could use to describe how I felt.
But as I left the cinema at the end of the film. I realised that I was crying. I had just left Hannah Montana surrounded my young giggly girls sobbing. What must people of thought?
This got me thinking how many times have we snapped an image in our mind and come to the wrong conclusion? Anyone outside the Odean must of thought I was a delicate soul sobbing at Hannah Montana. Am I? Hardly.
I have found since then I am slowing down the judgements I make, with great results. It has been especially useful when meeting new people in business environments. I confessed this new found wisdom to a businesswomen the other day and she then shared with me how she was beginning to appreciate this too. She had assumed that the person that she had sat next to for the last hour at a networking breakfast would not be interested in what she did and so she had concentrated on what they did and had not mentioned her work. As they got up to leave he requested a meeting with her to discuss how she could help his business. Holding back judgement has had a similar effect for me. Some one that I thought would dismiss coaching as something that they didn't do" - contacted me out of the blue and arranged to meet me. I know that this was as a direct result of my change in attitude.
How many times have you not received a reply to an email and have assumed you have done something to offend them? and never found the courage to pick up the phone and find out? Or looked at some one immaculate or dressed in a track suit and thought I won't have nothing in common with you.
How many times a day do we assume we know what people are thinking? What we are seeing is correct? There is a saying that there is no such thing as reality only everyone's interpretation of it..... and I for one am beginning to wonder.
You only have to look at my stupadog Max to see this. To the untrained eye he looks like a springer spaniel, and Max is pure pedigree (apparently). Springer's are working dogs, used for hunting, etc - Mine is currently watching a mother fox and her five cubs bounce & sniff their way around our garden. Theoretically I should be ashamed but I like foxes and I like my dog just the way he is. The mother fox obviously knows we mean her and her children no harm because she sees Max's face at the window and carries on feeding her babies.
For me this is a visual reminder of my Hannah Montana moment. First Impressions are essential, as we tend to form an idea of a person within 60 seconds of meeting them, usually regardless of what is coming out of their mouths. So you need to appreciate this, however what conclusions could you draw if you held back on your judgement? I have my visual reminder of my stupadog and since the last thing I do before I leave the house is stroke his head - I know my delayed judgement thought will be at the fore front of my mind - what about you?
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