Why is this happening?

We all have days where we want to shout at the sky "Why is this happening?"

Well I always add something to that, because I may not understand the reason why something is happening but I know I am supposed to be learning from it and that everything happens for a reason. However awful and crap it feels at the time, so I always add "What am I supposed to be learning from this?" You can still yell it in a Grrr kind of way.

I am having one of those moments right now.

I had this vision that we could connect local business men and women in a social evening to show case and support local businesses and to support local charities by giving them a couple of big sacks of cash. But with the added bonus that the charities would get to raise their profile and the people attending could get some fabulous "Wow" factor prizes from the event for their efforts. Great eh?

As you can imagine the work to put this together has been immense, however when I think about the tireless work of social enterprises and charities and their dogged determination to help and make things better for others it has always spurred me on.

I am passionate about my business, my family, and me and I wanted to extend my determination and passion to 2 local charities that I feel very passionate about.

Little Havens Children's Hospice is a charity that creates a valuable and essential life line to the families as well as the children, and with two children of my own I hope and pray that I never need their services, but passionately care about every child on this planet so that is why I wanted to support them.

Colchester Mind supports local people experiencing mental health stress from mild anxiety to full on depression. And I know about this first hand. I never ever use the word depressed to describe my state of mind having suffered from severe clinical depression 5 years ago. Colchester mind was the key to me getting better and being better than the person I was before so I passionately wanted to give them a huge sack of cash and help support their great work.

However this is where my "What am I supposed to be learning from this" question comes in.
Because we have had over a £1000 worth of fabulous items come our way for the auction from Ex Prince Andrews chef cooking a valentine's meal in your own home with uniformed staff, to hot stone therapies and flying a plane. People have been knocking on the email door requesting stands for donations of £50 and yet we have not sold all the tickets at half that price. And I do not understand the reason why. (Obviously if we do not sell most of the tickets then the event could not proceed and we would have to refund everyone who has already supported this event with ticket & stand purchases.)The work involved in that does not worry me (although it will grate a bit) more the "Why"

There are lots of obvious things I can learn from this, but what is puzzling me is "What has stopped my from helping these charities?" I am not so worried about the logistics of the event rather the "How can I still go on to support, promote and give you sacks of cash?"

I do not know the answer to this yet. I do not know whether the charity night will go ahead. I do know that if it does it will be great (we have a fabulous toast master running the proceedings) however if it does not then I am sure we can talk to all our donaters (thats not people that eat donuts that's people who donate) and ask them if we may use their prizes in other ways. So we have the prizes, we have some great people who want to support this event, now its time to think.

What's going to happen? I do not know.
How am I going to make these big sacks of cash? I am not sure.
What will I do? I am thinking.
"What am I supposed to learn from this?" Well the most important thing I have learnt so far is that I am a very determined positive person who will find a way. I do not know the answer yet but perhaps I have not asked the right question.

Off to find my answers....